We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
