i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize