Me. At least after what I've been through.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
