so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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