I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I want a musical about memes.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
