New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize