So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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