It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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