If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
