Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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