Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
