that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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