I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
