I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
