I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
