were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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