I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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