Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
