If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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