Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
