I'm drive I can fine osifer
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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