Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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