Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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