I wannas sexs uuuuu
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
