why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
