listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
