And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
