i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
