I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
