we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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