we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
