literally had 100 drinks last night.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
