I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
