im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
