never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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