Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Randomize
