I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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