I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
