i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
