its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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