We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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