Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
one might say we're banned from that church
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
