I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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