In the future we'll all be gay
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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