i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
