I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
