i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize