I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
