Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Boobs speak an international language.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
