Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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