he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize