Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize