Don't make out with my wife yet
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
so let's talk penis.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
