sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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