It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
