Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
