Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
