I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
