Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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