i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
