So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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