I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So much rum. So many feels.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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