Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
