I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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