all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
tell me about the eggs
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
