i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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