I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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