you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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